When searching for a potential Christian mate, chalk out a list of qualities that you genuinely dislike in a person. Dislikes are just as important, or even more important than likes. We all have to make compromises here and there, but if you start condoning things which you genuinely dislike, your relationship will quickly be on the road to ruin.
Word of caution: Many people make the mistake of always accommodating the other when courting. They’re constantly adjusting to the other’s wishes. Though it’s proper to be nice, there’s a point when you have to say, “No more”. Remember—this isn’t just a temporary trip you’re thinking about taking with this person; this is the rest of your life.
If it’s something you’re very particular about, stick to your guns. And if you think you’ll be able to change this person out of his or her offending habits, think again. The moment you start, it becomes ‘nagging’ and he or she will love you less for it.
I once started seriously dating a woman who I later realized was very cold and hardened inside. I desperately tried to change her to a softer, more kindly spirit, but it wasn’t to be. Needless to say, that relationship was doomed from the start and didn’t last long.
It’s best to have a clear idea about qualities and habits that you genuinely dislike and steer clear of those who possess these traits. Once you do this, you’re in a better position to make the right choice.
And please don’t obsess over making a wrong choice. There’s a multitude of Christian singles out there in the Christian dating sites, and if you are taking the right steps, the Lord will show you the right one. Don’t forget to include God’s input every step of the way. He’ll take care of the details IF you let Him. Remember: If God be for us, who can be against us?
Here’s a great tip to take some of the pressure out of dating online: Don’t look at it as a prospective partner hunt. See it as a new way to make a lot of friends, and I mean good friends.
Good friends make your life richer. You can be yourself with them, and they can be themselves with you. And that means letting it all out.
We must remember that apart from being a Christian husband or wife, your spouse should be your best friend as well.
Many couples make this mistake: They tend to separate their friends and their spouses. While it is perfectly acceptable (and healthy) to have your own friends, your best friend should always be your husband or wife.
This is the person you’ll share your dreams and fears with, someone who understands, someone who can give your hand a gentle squeeze when things go wrong and brighten up your darkest day.
Speaking of marriage, here’s a worst case scenario: What do you do if you discover that one of your new online friends is already married?
That’s easy: thank the Lord for His revelation, break off all contact with them and run as fast as you can in the other direction. These people have serious problems. If they’re a married Christian, why would they be perusing dating websites? They’re obviously looking for an adulterous relationship. And you don’t want to be anywhere near them.