First and foremost, do not go straight away into a Christian singles’ chat room and try to find somebody who would interest you. Many of these chat rooms are flooded with people who are only looking for sex. (Yes, even the Christian ones.) Finding the kind of person who matches your interests and tastes can be very difficult. There are many Christian dating sites where you can find your perfect pair..
Chat rooms can really be infuriating. Everything starts off well. You’re having a nice conversation when all of the sudden, the topic moves into an intimate area. You sigh and have to bar messages from that person, who may choose to bad mouth you in the chat room. Usually you have to leave the chat room all together.
Instead of bothering with Christian singles chat rooms, why not try a different angle? Like working backwards?
Take a moment and think about the things that interest you and things that you would find interesting in another single Christian. And by ‘things’, I am not referring to physical attributes.
Again the distinction has to be drawn between a serious relationship and a casual relationship. In a casual relationship, there may be an increased importance on physical attributes. But in a serious relationship, the physical qualities are probably not as important.
There are certain qualities that you will obviously be looking out for. First on your list should be a growing relationship with the Lord. After that, things like character and attitude should rank high. Remember—beauty is only skin deep, but the important things last for a lifetime!
Did you know that it is possible to grow to like a person’s looks? After you see how wonderful they are on the inside, you’ll start liking the outside as well. It is entirely possible to fall in love with someone who doesn’t look Brad Pitt or Catherine Zeta-Jones.
I knew a Missionary couple who were married for many years. The wife has told us point blank that she did not love her husband when they married. But she knew without a doubt that this was the man God wanted her to be with. In time, a deep love grew between them and they
accomplished many wonderful things on the mission field.
What if she had followed her own feelings instead of the Lord’s will? Many souls who would have been saved would be lost.
Looks may be important, but they certainly are not the most important thing and should never be used as the deciding factor in a serious relationship.
You need to find some common ground
We weren’t created like clear pieces of glass you can look through. God made us more like diamonds, which when held against light reflects a myriad of colors. We’re extremely complex.
And with this in mind, it stands to reason that your interests will not necessarily match those of another. But thankfully, these interests are not as numerous as the people who have them. So you’re bound to find a lot of people who you’re compatible with.
What are your interests? Give this some serious thought. There might be a lot of things that you enjoy doing but have never really realized it.
Do you like sports or outdoor activities? How about social work? Maybe you’re into crossword puzzles or old movies. Just keep jotting them down as they come to you.
Your tastes and interests could be very different. But that’s okay. Let them be. Once you have decided what your interests are then a good portion of the hard work is done.
Now comes the fun part. Sit and think about what you would like in another person. But remember, having the same interests doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll get along famously.
For example, if you’re a talker, it doesn’t mean that you would care for another person who’s a talker as well. Two people constantly trying to talk at the same time can only end in disaster. On the other hand, if you’re the silent, reserved type and the other person is the same, then you’ll never communicate properly!
The word here is “compatible.” Your interests should complement theirs and not clash.